INDIFFERENCE OF A SOMEONE

I have been walking,

Crossing the paved causeway

With amazement in my eyes;

A dual feeling

Of awe and wariness.

But more than anything

It was this gnawing

Indifference.

Sipping the warm afternoon coffee,

Trying to let the world

Sink into me,

Trying to comprehend

All that mattered.

I have failed.

I have been living before I was born –

A life of pulsating energy,

Never knowing that

I would die with my

Birth into nothingness.

The dead yellow macabre

Leaves of Autumn

Too shy away from my company.

Neither do the long stretch

Of the cemetery walls

Agree to share their

Hidden secrets.

Everything passes by,

Everyone passes by,

I stand watching,

Letting it all pass,

Letting it all flow,

Tied up with my

Indifference.

What if it does not

Matter?

Even if it does,

I am no one, nothing,

To make it all stop,

Stand and stare me

In the face.

-            Sanchali Ghosh

-            21^st May2011

-             

-            SG ║▌▌║█ ▌║▌║▌║║▌▌▌║█║

-            © 1 5 0 3 1 9 8 8 0 2 0 6 7

-            copyright Sanchali 2011

:: THE JOURNEY NEVER ENDS ::

( 1 )

Persia::1275

She: How could you?! How could you kill him?

He: I love you princess and that’s all that matters…

She: And I loved him… I loved Knight Raphael… and you dirty Shaman… you killed him…!

He: I did princess…I was craving for the sweet taste of revenge…

She: Revenge? Revenge for what?

He: He stole your heart in front of my eyes… how could I tolerate that princess? All that matters is he is no more…

She: So what if he is no more? I loved him and will always love him… you can never get me…

He: What are you going to do? Kill yourself princess? Go ahead… I will follow you…

She: No… I will get you hanged for what you’ve done…

He: But then, there’s a problem…I cannot possibly leave you alone here princess…I will have to solve the problem…

Her blood created intricate web like patterns on the cold stone floor… flowing from the deep gash where the silver dagger had ripped her apart…it flowed, incessantly… squeezing her dry…

He looked at his hands… the stench of blood made him nauseous… he would have to follow her as soon as possible… get hanged in public or follow her himself? He made the decision. He wrenched apart the knife from her body and made a final stab… how easy this was… three stabs and a new journey altogether… freedom? No.. he will have to follow her… it will be long before he gets that freedom…. He would finish this journey…no matter what.

( 2 )

New Jersey:: 2006

She: How are you?

He: I am fine, lucky that the knife didn’t puncture my liver…

She: I don’t understand what’s got to him… he was my best friend…

He: And he tried to kill you too…

She nodded mutely.

He: He loves you…that’s what it is…

She: So what? I love you…and just because of that, he tried to kill you…he’s a psychopath…

He: So, what happened?

She: Its still quite vague in my mind… I remember he tried to stab me and then a scuffle…the knife was in my hand…and then, its all blank…

He: Tomorrow’s his funeral right?

She: Who cares anyway… he was my friend though…I remember he said something about following me and finishing the journey and all…

He: Forget it now… you need rest…. It must have been a traumatic experience for you too… and as for his journey, he can finish it in hell….

( 3 )

India::2098

“Sheesh… I did love that girl… she never realized…”

“You… you killed her just because she loved me and not you?”

“Fair enough…don’t you think?”

“You should be…. You should be..”

“What? Brutally killed? Kill me…I will be with her though… you know what I feel… I have been trying to follow her… to get her for long… for years… centuries…millenniums maybe…and she still loves you… my poor stupid girl…I regret killing her… I regret… this means I will have to go on again…”

“Go on? What are you talking about you bloody psychopath?”

“You won’t understand… its been too long…maybe fourth time lucky…”

“Fourth time? I will kill you here and now…”

“I guess its your turn now… its been myself the first time and she did it the second time…kill me this time…you do it…’coz it doesn’t matter anyway you know…the same journey…just a different map…”

THE END

:: 15 THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR ::

Though I may not be the whiny teenager that you hate, I realized [after being stranded for an hour beside a footpath dwelling family because of a downpour] that probably there are a hundred thousand things I am truly and honestly grateful for... here's listing the top twenty:

• 1) My High Level of Tolerence: for example, I am tolerating that buzzing mosquito beside my left ear for the past ten minutes. The fact that I have been tolerating pointless education for the past sixteen years of my life, doesn't hurt either.

• 2) Enigma, Muse and Linkin Park - they probably keep me sane in my insanest of days and get me high in my lowest of lows. Take a bow Enigma.

• 3) The Cracks and Cobwebs on the Walls: I am no Robert Bruce, but trust me, any student would agree that there is no better distraction than the numerous cracks and cobwebs on the blank walls, just before the night of the examinations. You can stare t it for minutes all together, never knowing how fast the time is flowing. And if you are the constructive type, you are sure to take a lesson or two from the tiny spider. ;)

• 4) Facebook: do I really need to say more about this? Nah, I wouldn't put you all to shame.... Thank you Mark Zuckerberg. Really.

• 5) My Mother : for everything. Period. Oh, did I miss the fact that you also make me that lovely mango smoothie when I am down. Love.

• 6)The Garfield Poster in my Room : My true unending source of confidence, attitude and panache. Oh, add the 'laziness' bit too.

• 7) My College: My second home, my friends, my philosophies, my inspiration, my madness, my crazy hole, my eduction, my dreams, my aspirations, my food, my off-classes, my teachers, my Green Benches[fellow Xaverians will be knowing this], my music, my discussions, my gossips, my fights, my library, my examinations and my LOVE <3

• 8) The Rain Gods: Wherever, in whichever form, from whichever mythology, I offer my humblest prayers to you - my true infinite source of relief and inspiration. Add poetry and photography to that.

TLALOC - The Aztec God of Rain

• 9) My being a Bengali - how else would I talk non stop on sports, Saurav Ganguly, left and right and red and green, Robi Thakur, Satyajit Ray, and talk in the world's sweetest language? Bangali hoye gorbito.

• 10) My Old Desktop Computer: I know its slow, its a senior citizen, its nothing sleek, almost an eyesore, but the fact that its been rendering me steady service since my seventh grade, makes my PC a strong contender on this list.

• 11) My Part Time Job: You get fast bucks and it pays your MacD bills. What else? Enough to make it on this list.

• 12) Patience: How else do you think I've been writing this at 2a.m. at night? What? Insomnia you say? But isn't that kind of too obvious?

• 13) Harry Potter: My childhood friend, my fountain of weirdness and well of ideas, the insect that bit me with the writing bug. Enough said. Peace.

• 14) Larry Page and Sergey Brin: for everything else, there's God.

• 15) Everyone Reading this: Otherwise, I would still have been writing at the back of notebooks. Your infinite patience as you are going through this definitely weighs very heavy. Thank you people.

So, there goes the first 'GRATEFUL' list... rest coming up soon. Keep reading.

P.S.- Sharing Rocks. **hint**hint**

Author's Note: IF ANYONE FINDS ANY PICTURE OBJECTIONABLE OR COPYRIGHTED, I AM SORRY. JUST CONTACT ME AT sancho.dbest@gmail.com AND I WILL REMOVE IT ASAP. PROMISE.

MADNESS ::proved::

I don't really know why I posted this, but then, its here...

:: My Anime Addiction ::

They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, "Search for Paradise."  - Kiba (Wolf’s Rain)

As a young girl, I was never much into movies. Television for me, consisted of just one thing – Animes aired on a lone channel called Animax. Well, before I delve any further into this post, let me explain what Animes exactly are.

As the name suggests, it is obviously a form of animation, in this case, Japanese animations. Both hand-drawn and Computer –animated anime exist and represents most, if not all, Genres of Fiction. Most of the human figures depicted in these Animes are not correctly proportioned, but still, those large expressive eyes, slender figures and long limbs make the characters so endearing that you cannot help but fall in love with them.

My rendezvous with Anime started with a fantasy how ‘Card captor Sakura’- the story of a young school girl who fights her fears and weaknesses to capture certain destructive cards and master them, saving the human population in the process. Sakura fascinated me. I got hooked. Soon, Hungry Heart (story of a soccer player), Captain Tsubasa, Astro Boy and Detective Academy Q followed. While the other people in my class were busy watching Tom and Jerry and Richie Rich, I had found my treasure trove in Animes. The very fact that they were so real yet so very unreal, made me fall in love with them. And I was not the only one in class. A few other guys were hooked into these Japanimations too, and this made our whole group kind of outcasts (not that it mattered to me anyway).

All these days, I had just watched the Prime time shows, never bothering to tune in later. I realized what big a mistake this was when, one day, the insomniac that I am, switched on the television at 1 a.m. at night and watched the repeat telecast of a show named WOLF’S RAIN. I soon worked out the actual timing of the show and devoted myself to it. And the Wolves never disappointed me. Other niche shows like GET BACKERS and //.HACK SIGN: LEGEND OF TWILIGHT soon became my staple. They captured my imagination like nothing before. What I did not realize then was that what I was watching was shows on Dystopia, Cyberpunk and Post-apocalyptic earth – stuff that excite me even today.

Wolf’s Rain was set hundreds of years from now, when most of the Earth is a mere ruined wasteland and people live in few domed and widely dispersed cities. Legend speaks that at the end of this world, which is almost near, Paradise will open, and it will only be known by the wolves. But wolves, along with most wild animals have been extinct for 200 years… or so everyone believes. In fact, a few still survive, using their mental strength to cloak themselves as human beings, living off the gutters. All changes when a young white wolf named Kiba arrives, drawn by the scent of the Flower Daughter, a mysterious girl held captive by a group of researchers.

Wolf’s Rain deals with very delicate human-animal relationships and the very pressing issue of environmental destruction. The message is not shouted out. The subtle reality of the world in which the wolves live – the options of scavenging from the city of leaving it for freedom into the vast empty wasteland, makes one stop and take notice. The monochromatic barren landscapes, sweeping melancholy and gloomy vistas add a chilling sense of dread. Added to these is Yoko Kanno’s haunting music which does not leave you for a long time to come. Maya Sakamoto’s ‘GRAVITY (youtube link)’ and Steve Conte’s ‘STRAY (youtube link)’ are masterpieces. No show has portrayed a dystopic society better before, just like Kiba says – “Dying or getting killed isn't something unnatural. Living aimlessly without a purpose is.” (Wolf's Rain).

Get Backer on the other hand is apparently an action comedy of two guys who call themselves "The GetBackers" and their claim to fame is a 100% case success rate. Ginji Amano and Ban Mido make up the spiky-haired retrieval agency that will get back any lost or stolen item, for the right price. On the surface, the GetBackers look like an ordinary male duo; however, Ginji and Ban both possess unique capabilities. Ginji is able to produce thousands of volts of electricity from his body while Ban has what's called 'The Evil Eye'—for one minute he can hypnotize someone by trapping them in their worst nightmare for what seems an eternity, and that’s not intimidating what is? What I actually liked about it was the portrayal of a certain place called Maze City, which Ban says is “ a place where reality and virtual reality collides”. As soon as you enter it, you get automatically plugged into the virtual reality system through microwaves. What happens in it is both real and unreal. Like, you could be actually walking in the city, but your mind can be made to think that you are doing something else. In the same way, you could be really sitting in the 2^nd floor of maze city, but if the VR(virtual Reality) system wants you to think you are standing in the hallway of the 3^rd floor, you are. The VR actually sends signals to our brains directly. So we end up in seeing, feeling, hearing, tasting and feeling unreal objects. The fact that the makers use such convoluted concepts and yet manage a perfect coherent ending never fails to amaze me.

 

If you want a break from your regular Television channels, Anime is a must watch. And if Animax isn’t airing, there good ol’ Youtube for the rest. Go, search up the tube and get ready to be spellbound. Animes  (good ones that is) will hold your attention longer than you imagine. Borrowing from the Bard, There are more things in Animes, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

:: About Moi ::

1. I feel short compared to most people, even though I'm probably not that short. 


2. When I was young I worried that I would still be reading Harry Potter when I was an adult, and it would make me an outcast... :( 


3. I've never broken a limb (WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT!!).


4. My favourite ice cream is Butterscotch with choco dumplings.... ymmm!!!


5. I once owned a She-ra Crystal Castle, which was exactly the same plastic castle as He-Man's Castle Grayskull, only spray painted pink. 


6. I once ran away from home at age 9 with a packet of chips, a pair of toy binoculars and a ten bucks note in my backpack. I made it as far as 10 km...


7. Despite the unreliability, crowd, and slow speed of the city buses, I am still stoked that I only have to wait 4 minutes for a bus.


8. I never saw DDLJ until last month and I think I really hate it .


9. I can't believe I made it in Neptune.. by my own personal scoring system, anyway ..


10. I have never been to Atlantis.


11. I love being in love <3 <3


12. I don't believe in love at first sight .


13. I have a problem with hypocrites.


14. I appreciate my mother .


15. My hobby is talking to myself.


16. I think about my mistakes .


17. I've been known to hold grudges, although I try not to ...


18. I feel lucky that I have been loved ..........


19. If I had the chance to start again, I would do almost nothing differently!


20. I swear too much ... damn.. (there I go again...)


21. I've never been cool. I kind of go my own way, which is uber-cool, apparently. 


22. I don't remember ever having chicken pox. I think I had the measles once 


23. I really really hate being sick. I am hardly ever sick enough to stay home from college, though. 


24. I don't have a "type" 


25. People who make me laugh fascinate me. Especially when its a sarcastic or caustic remark that does it 


26. I am writing this at the middle of night because I don't have any to do (some things never change).


27. I am leaving for dreamland in 45 minutes and I don't know if I want the dreams 


28. I can't think of that many things to write about myself! 


29. My favourite author is William Gibson, followed by J.K.Rowling, Alistair Maclean and Edgar Allan Poe


30. I always wanted to be in a real haunted house and have to stay the night with a group of my friends 


31. I love to read. Especially when its cold and raining and I'm inside 


32. I hate weddings. They're boring and stressful. 


33. I love mashed potato. Any potato dish really 


34. I can't sing, but I still love to anyway. 


35. I am a super huge Anime and Manga fan!!!!!! 


36. I'm a big fan of starfish sleeping 


37. My favourite color is black, which is boring because almost everyone elses is too 


38. The best game ever written is The Sims.. I own all the expansions. I've bought them twice, because I lost the first set 


39. I don't like being tickled. 


40. But I love pillow fights 


41. My blood type is AB+ 


42. I have a weakness for microwaved popcorn 


43. I love doodling in most of my classes.


44. My secret ambition when I was 11, was to be an astronaut, detective, adventurer and god knows what…


45. I waited all day on my 11th birthday to get the letter from Hogwarts


46. I secretly read Dante's Inferno. 


47. My favourite font is Chiller


48. I can talk to lizards


49. I absolutely love wolves… damn gorgeous


50. I've never met anyone from Siberia. I think that would be cool 


51. I don't like dolphin motifs on furniture, ornaments etc 


52. I love goats cheese 


53. Greek food is my favourite 


54. I am pro-choice, however I'm not sure what I'd do if I had to make one 


55. I like music with sad lyrics. This does not make me permanently depressive, however 


56. I cannot keep my room tidy. 


57. I had a cat called Tussy, named after... god knows what?!


58. I hate small tweeny irritating kids.


59. After a long day, I play GTA:Vice City just to ride the cool cars and blow up people.


60. I miss old friends sometimes but realise our parting was probably for the best 


61. I love old fashioned rooms with patched upholstery and nicotine-stained ceilings 


62. I like bingo. 


63. I am no good at gardening, I tend to kill all plants 


64. When I was in primary school Tazzos (free with chips packets)  just came out. You could get Pokemon, Digimon and all sorts of them.... I was the proud owner of 300 of them.


65. My one secret ambition is to write a book on Dystopian 'cyberpunk'ish society....


66. I once caught a cricket ball in my hair and became the most popular player for the day 


67. I don't really like a lot of candies, cant say the same for chocolates though...


68. My favourite movies are Rang de Basanti and A Clockwork Orange,Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Inception, Blade Runner and the rest I cant remember now…


69. I hate doing dishes only slightly less than studying


70. I love Grappo Fizz


71. Above all programs, I hate Macromedia Flash the most


72. If I were a cartoon character, I'd be Milhouse from the Simpsons. ("My beautiful eyebrows!") :P


73. If I were an animal, I'd be a cat. Lazy, feline and fat :) though I've always loved Wolves


74. I adore my new window drapes.


75. I hate Big Boss (and variations thereof) 


76. I'm passionate about music and have a pretty diverse taste 


77. I'm not in the least bit original, but praise others for being so 


78. I hate noise waking me up. 


79. I secretly like the colors Red and White


80. I have been known to start fights due to lack of sleep irritability 


81. I hate Professor Snape


82. Sapphires are my favourite. Followed by blue topaz, amethyst, emeralds, rubies, any colored zirconia, and rose quartz. I do not like yellow gold and prefer silver or white gold 


83. I don't do walking. 


84. I like Draco Malfoy


85. Rich food and a lot of laughs = the perfect night out (or in, depending) 


86. I miss my old school and old life sometimes. 


87. I think a turtleneck on a guy is damn near the cutest sight in the world. 


88. I'm going to Atlantis in December 2012. 


89. I am addicted to Facebook. No, really. 


90. I barely turned my computer on since I realised I had 5 days left for the exams and I wonder if this is a bad thing. 

91. I keep promising to take pictures of where I live and around Calcutta, but I am too slack. 


92. I worry that I'm not taking Calcutta in and that I won't remember when I get home.


93. I wonder if I'll ever go Home.

94. I think Tom Felton is smoking hot and Imran Khan is cuddly cute


95. I am not in the least bit interested in Robert Pattinson (Edward 'leech' Cullen). I think this may make me a freak.


96. I secretly love T2 - even if they do have 90% useless news. 


97. One of my favourite things to do is to visit a theme park. My secret aim is to visit as many as possible in my lifetime.


98. I’m not always right, but I am never wrong


99. I am writing this and that makes me damn gutsy


100.     My name is Sanchali and this has been 100 things about me.  :-D